Paris like you've never seen it.

It's my third day in Paris and I am sitting in my room. It's warm in here. Warm and expensive. I need to find an apartment. Right now I'm staying at a Hostel in the Montmarte district. It's... filthy frankly, but I didn't think that would be a problem because I thought I'd be spending most of my time outside. Looking for a job, or an apartment, or just seeing Paris. It's my first time in one of the world's most famous cities and I still haven't seen anything but the inside of this room. Well the inside of this room and the boulangerie down the street. I thought about going back to Le Cafe Zephyr to see if I could meet that waitress but I...

I feel weird about...

Well, let's just say I didn't really come here looking for a girlfriend. Besides, it's cold outside. This hostel is lucky it's so cold out there. The warmth is about the only thing this place has going for it...

The main problem with this hostel is my roommates. The over excited Brazilians. Apparently they live to chatter incessantly in broken English and tell me all about the amazing things they've seen and the amazing places I should go. I told them where they could go but I guess the meaning was lost in the translation.

Me: DAMNIT!

Something just bit me. I don't think it was a bedbug, though I'm pretty sure this place is crawling with those as evidenced by the hosts of tiny itching welts appearing daily on my arms and legs. But I don't think you can feel bedbug bites. Do cockroaches bite?

...Maybe the Brazilians are the second worst thing about this hostel.

Actually, I'm bumping the Brazilians all the way to third. The worst thing about this hostel is that I'm spending twenty-seven Euros a night to stay in this dive. Then the bugs. Then the Brazilians. And lastly the guy who runs the place. The concierge is an angry old man that apparently hates everything. His English is terrible, his breath is worse, and he kicks me out for three hours every day at two in the afternoon to "clean up the place". Judging by the overall cleanliness of his establishment I'd say that this is French for "go through your things looking for valuables".

It's two now. I could either wait until he kicks me out or I could leave now and escape his breath. Back down to the boulangerie for some baguettes, or maybe I'll go see the Eiffel Tower. It's about time I see something.  Where did I put my Michelin Green Guide?

Concierge (knocking on the door): Bounjour?
 Me: Oui?

Concierge (opening the door): I must clean the room now.

Me: I'll be out in a second, I just need to find something.

Concierge: Now.

Really? ... I guess I can see the Eiffel Tower tomorrow. The concierge gives me a dirty look as I pass him in the doorway. And that smell. Is it their diet? I need to find an apartment... needless to say, I'm having a wonderful time.

...Wish you were here.

Yours sincerely,
Willim

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