Today is Wednesday the 17th of February, 2010. I am scheduled to fly home today. I have decided to stay. I think I loved you. That was why I came here in the first place. I loved you. You didn't love me. I moved to France. But it's come to my attention that I do not know what love is. It made me feel good to do things for you, it made me feel good that you wanted to spend time with me, it made me feel good to be special to someone. None of those things are love.

What did I ever do to love you?

All I can say is that I never pressured you. I let you be yourself. I gave you space. I waited patiently for you to love me back. That's the closest I came, and it may not be what love is but I think it has something to do with it... it's a start at least.

I don't want to have come here for nothing. It may have been short sighted, it may have been rash to relocate at a time like this. But I decided... and so... it's decided.

I'm not coming home until I have some answers.



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